RICH MEN AND KIDS
Yes, it’s true, most rich men like kids. Their own, that is. What they are not hot about is taking on someone else’s kids. If you are looking for a millionarire, and you have children, you need to either be so beautiful and seductive that he would do anything to be with you, or your kids had better be pretty independent of you.
If your rich guy wants to take off for Paris in his Lear Jet, he doesn’t want to hear that you don’t have a babysitter for your kids. If he has plans for a romantic dinner, he may put up with “I’m sorry, I can’t go because I have a sick child,” once or twice.
But the more times your kids interfere with his plans, the faster he is quickly going to find someone who is available.
Don’t Get Rid of Your Kids.
Now this is not a suggestion that you get rid of your children, like Susan Smith who drowned her two because her new boyfriend didn’t want to take on someone else’s kids. What I’m saying is that you need to plan ahead of time as to how you are going to provide for them if you’re planning on spending time alone with a man who wants to be spontaneous.
Who is going to watch your children while you’re gone? Who will do homework, get them to school, make lunches and do laundry? Will whoever is helping you be flexible enough to stay longer if you don’t come back on time? Do they have a car to take them to lessons, games, practices and to the hospital in emergencies?
Be Able to Manage Your Household. Now let’s suppose you have your household under control. Your kids’ dad is willing to take them overnight on the spur of the moment; your mother doesn’t complain when you stay out late after you said you’d be home by 1am; your sister will take them to the park and make sure they have clean clothes when you’re too tired to get up after being out all night. After all that, now you have to deal with his kids.
Be Willing to Spend Time with His Kids. Your rich man may have made it clear through words or actions that he’s not interested in being around your kids, but he probably loves his own kids and may want them to be around you. It may not sound fair, but the reality is, the man with the money calls the shots.
So put on your happy face and be warm and welcoming to his kids. If they don’t like you, kids can sabotage a relationship. And don’t think you can fake it. Kids can spot a fake.
How to get his kids to like you.
- Learn about their interests
- Ask them questions
- Listen to what they say
- Be sincere in your comments to them
Very small children are usually accepting of most people, although they may be leery in the beginning. Remember they may have been through this with other women before. Ask to see their room, their favorite toy or read them a story. Sincere attention will eventually win over most little ones.
If you want to connect with a school-aged child, don’t ask pointed questions like, “How was school today?” or “What did you do at school today.” You’ll get one-word answers like: “Fine” or “Nothing.”
Ask open-ended questions instead. “So, who did something silly at school today?” or “Whom did you play with today?” and ask why he/she likes that person.
Learn about video games and ask about their favorite one. If kids think you are really interested, they will talk. If you push too hard, and don’t seem authentic, they’ll clam up.
Getting along with his kids can be trying, especially if they are teenagers. They have a mom and they don’t plan on letting you take her place. If their dad has been a bachelor for a long time, they’ve been through this scenario before. Their dad brings home some woman and expects them to like her and get along. They have meals with her, vacation with her and the next thing they know, she’s gone, and another woman is in her place.
Teenagers are not about to let you in easily. They will be suspicious of your motives. You have to earn their trust and friendship, and that takes time.
If there is conflict, learn to deal with it, because your rich guy doesn’t want to have to deal with it. He will just want the problem to go away, and you know he’s not going to get rid of his kids before he gets rid of you, even if you weren’t the cause of the problem in the first place.
Suppose you get lucky and find a rich man who loves your kids. Your kids, his kids, you’re all one happy family. At least that’s the way he’d like it to be. He wants everyone to spend time together and get along. Isn’t that nice?
The problem comes when your kids don’t like his spoiled kids. His kids think your kids are dorky. The kids are of different ages, or have different interests. They don’t want to get to know each other. They are not interested in one, big, combined, happy family.
Of course, you must realize that he expects you to fix that. He certainly won’t want to deal with it. Men generally leave the kids to the women, (Yes, even in this day of women’s lib and modern thinking.) Rich men are typically too busy or preoccupied to manage the problems of children so it will be up to you.
All of this leaves you with a dilemma.
How do you balance your children’s needs with his children’s needs and not become a doormat for his kids or an absent mother for your kids? If you can’t answer that question, then you need to take some parenting classes or read some books on the subject. There is plenty of parenting information to read on the Internet. You can also take parenting classes on-line. Parenting books are available from the public library. If you don’t like to read, get audio tapes.
Suggested reading material:
Elizabeth Pantley’s book, The No-Cry Discipline Solution is practical with lots of tidbits for quick solutions to problems.
Get Out of My Life, but First Could You Drive Me & Cheryl to the Mall: A Parent’s Guide to the New Teenager, by Anthony E. Wolf is good for managing teenagers.
Parenting classes can be found in most cities through your community’s social services, through your pediatrician, your YMCA, the local Parks and Recreation Programs, or on the internet.
The manner in which you conduct yourself with his kids will say a lot about you. You are either going to come across as someone who is there temporarily for his good time, or someone who might be a life partner and who can successfully handle his kids and yours.